Being a Lifelong Learner

As an Executive and Leadership Coach, I will forever be honing my craft. There is always more to learn. Staying curious and asking “Why?” keeps life fresh and exciting and promotes the belief that growth is always possible. This mindset propels me forward when I encounter obstacles or find myself engaged in activities in which I am not an expert.

If you are a lifelong learner, you most likely share this mindset. But how far into your life does it permeate? Do you remember to apply this thinking when you are asked to take on something new that is outside your comfort zone at work? Does it show up when your kids ask you to join them in an activity in which you think you will be terrible? Do you remember that it applies to relationships, communication, and self-care? What about that musical instrument you always wanted to learn, even though you have “no musical talent”?

Many of us tend to have fixed mind-sets in some areas of our lives, believing we simply weren’t born with the talent or the intellect to learn certain things, so why even try. However, research by Stanford Professor Carol Dweck illustrates that talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching, and persistence – everyone can get smarter and more skilled if they work at it.

If there’s something you truly want to learn, you can develop your skills with good instruction and persistent effort.  So many of us were raised with the common belief that being hard on ourselves is what keeps us driven to improve. Kristin Neff, associate professor at University of Texas in Austin’s department of educational psychology, has done extensive research in self-compassion and has found that compassion is the biggest motivator for change, not being hard on yourself.

Our thoughts create feelings, which drive our behaviors, which lead to results.

The next time you think, “I can’t do this,” ask yourself if that’s an accurate characterization. Perhaps what’s actually true is that you don’t want to try it.  Then, ask yourself “Why?”. Maybe you actually do want to try it, but you’re afraid of failing. If so, identify and remove the block so that you allow yourself to make a different choice. If however, you find the activity is unappealing, then you choose to not pursue it.  Either way, you are making a decision rooted in greater self-knowledge and clarity than if you had simply said “I can’t.”